New thoughts...

Most of today was spent in deep conversation with K. Talking about mistakes we both made, hurts we both caused...and how he feels I felt during our marriage. I have a lot to think about now, a new way to look at how I felt...see I can't say he was wrong- but I can't say he was right. I was young when we met (we both were, he was 18 and I was 19)...I thought I was head over heels in love. I still believed I felt that way for the following 6 years, but there were things missing that change our relationship from a deep, loving friendship to a REAL marriage. Things that I couldn't do...and I don't fully know why. I don't know why I was incapable of these things, I felt (and still feel) I LOVE(D) him with all my being. Maybe I was too young and didn't know what REAL love is (was), maybe I just fell out of love and it became habit. I don't know what is is, I wish I did. As I said, lots to think about and evaluate, and yes- this blog is vague, :). I wrote it more to process my own thoughts than to elaborate for your reading pleasure...it's a selfish blog. I think I'm more confused now than I was a week ago...sorting it out....