So here I am staring down the barrel of my first deployment! I have spent the last few weeks cleaning, packing, and stressing (worried anything I say or type will violate OPSEC, the emails from the head honchos get scary! lol). The packing is going VERY well, so few boxes! This has inspired me to get rid of most of the crap gathering dust in the storage unit in Utah, I kind of figure if I've gone 10 months without it, how much can I need it? Aside from the baby items I will obviously be needed within the next few month, I think most of it can be given the old heave ho! Life around here has been slowly changing, M is growing faster than I can believe and the next baby (unknown gender as of right now) will be here before I can be fully prepared I think! K has one foot out the door practically, but that's something we try not to focus on right now, we try just to enjoy when he is here and make the most of it we can for Lil' M who is too young to understand what a shake up is coming his way.
I have decided to return back to Utah (though this was a ROUGH decision, given how much I abhor that state, and how things have been in my Utah family since I left), but I need the support and love of my family and so does M and new baby. I am sad to leave Fort Polk behind though, as little as there is around here, I still have really grown to love it- honestly it's the first place since I left California that I've really felt at home. I figure that this will be a good time to set some easy goals for myself and my kids. Things like spend time without the TV, eat better, and get exercise. The last should be easy, M LOVES to get out and run around!
I'm hoping that I am strong enough to keep my shi* together for my kids the next year or so, I think I am, but this will definitely be a trial. I hope that the strength K and I have gained over the last year or so will carry us through this separation and that the distance and time will just make our hearts grow fonder. I simply adore my husband, I have learned he is PERFECT- he may not be perfect to everyone but to me he is! Does he have flaws, of course, but those are part of him and in the end I've learned to make them endear him more to me, rather than distance him. I feel it will, time will tell.
